Minor Characters: Lawndale High School Faculty

Mr. O'Neill is Daria's English teacher, but he was also the teacher of the self-esteem class. He's a lot like Mr. Van Driessen from Beavis and Butthead. Mr. O'Neill depends on his seating chart to know names, was the sponsor of Cafe Lawndale (the student coffeehouse), convinced Daria to read her story "Where the future takes us" for the coffeehouse, and made his classes read books like Walden (YECH!!!!) and Romeo and Juliet and authors like Alfred Lord Tennyson. However, although he's a good english teacher, he's clueless about teaching a self-esteem class. Mr. O'Neill is a wuss.

Quote:
Mr. O'Neill: Why don't you read that composition you wrote about feeling like a big misfit? The other kids really seemed to relate to that. I know I did.

Daria: Have you ever been forced to play "Pop Goes The Weasel on the flute for a year?
Mr. O'Neill: No, but I once had to dress up in a rainbow wig and panties that said Tuesday. Why did I ever want to join a fraternity? Ha ha!
(both from Cafe Disaffecto)

DeMartino is the crazed history teacher that appeared in Esteemsters, Cafe Disaffecto, and The Big House. He emphasizes strange words, and his eyes sometimes bug out of his head when he is pissed off (which is often). He gets really pissed off by stupid kids like Kevin and Brittany who give inane answers.

Mr. DeMartino was the subject of a bet among Daria's friends during "The Big House" since he had a heart attack during the previous Teachers Vs. DJs floor hockey game when Rock 'N' Roll Randy took a cheap shot on him. The stuidents all bet on when DeMartino would get knocked out and have another heart attack.

Mr. DeMartino's voice is provided by Marc Thompson. Interestingly enough, one of the cel painters for the show is named Jarrett DeMartino. Hmm...

DeMartino: Although I rarely venture out amongst the brutish hordes who haunt the cookie-cutter chain restaurants and booze-drenced meat markets that pass themselves off as social gathering places during these waning days of our civilization, I, too, am hoping to meet that certain special someone to cuddle.
(from his personal ad response in The Daria Diaries)
DeMartino: Kevin, promise me that you'll come back and see me when you've got the Heisman Trophy and own a chain of used-car dealerships and I'm still saving up for a second pair of pants!
(The Invitation)

Ms. Li is the principal of Lawndale High School. She favors the jocks and the preppies and cheerleaders, and sold out the students to the Amazon Modeling Agency to get money for the school. Ms. Li forced Daria to do a different extracurricular activity when she didn't want to sell chocolate bars to Mrs. Johanssen, the hypoglycemic. She also gave a smarmy emotional speech about the death of Tommy Sherman.

Quote:
Ms. Li: You see, students, this is what happens when gonads rule the roost!
(This Year's Model)

Ms. Li: (finishing a speech about Tommy Sherman)
Kevin: Waaaaaah! (crying loudly)
Ms. Li: Oh, for god's sake, will someone get him out of here so we can sing "One Sweet Day?"
(The Misery Chick)

Ms. Barch is Daria's science teacher at Lawndale High. She hates men since her husband left her after she waited on him for 22 years, and takes it out on her male students. First apperaing in "Lab Brat", she wouldn't let Upchuck talk, and she told Mack to shut up, and she made Kevin dress as a hunchback and walk around ugly and unappealing "until she had completely crushed his ego" in "Too Cute." She favors the girls in her classes, and blatantly gives them better grades and treatment than she does the boys. She also kicked Rock 'N' Roll Randy's ass in "The Big House." Some people think that Rock 'N' Roll Randy is Ms. Barch's ex-husband.

Ms. Barch is truly funny, and most schools have at least one teacher who is like her. Mine has two. Ms. Barch is often referred to as "that teacher who hates men."

Ms Barch: You two will create a maze and train Kevin...I mean a mouse with positive or negative reinforcement.

Ms. Barch (to Daria and Kevin): Very nice work. You get an A.
Kevin: All right!
Ms. Barch: Not you, you man. You get a D.
Kevin: All right!
(Lab Brat)

Mrs. Bennett is Ms. Barch's polar opposite. She has fluffy hair, wears butterflies, is perpetually happy and perky, and she collects the Daria world's version of Beanie Babies: Fuzzy Wuzzy Wee Bits. Mrs. Bennett is the economics teacher at Lawndale High. She took the econ class on a field trip to the "Mall of the Millenium" (Malled) and hosted the Amazon Modeling Agency in her class (This Year's Model).

Quote:
Mrs. Bennett: Oh, oh, look! Oooooooh! The Fuzzy Wuzzy Wee Bits store! Herbert and I collect these! Look! A Fuzzy Wuzzy Wee Bits cactus! And a rabbit with its own fuzzy wuzzy carrot!
(Malled)

Ms. Defoe is the art teacher at Lawndale High. Is very earthy and folkie-ish. Wears a long mauve dress, lots of big clay jewelry, and earth sandals. She tried to teach Brittany one-point perspective and doesn't have patience for Brittany. She has a huge imagination. Ms Defoe takes the kids on field trips to art museums.

Although she has only been in one episode (The Invitation) she did appear in The Daria Diaries, so it's likely that she'll be back in the future.

Mrs. Manson is the Lawndale High School psychologist. She gave the personality tests to Daria and Quinn on their first days at Lawndale. She screwed up Daria's name, called her Dara, and ended up putting her in Mr. O'Neill's self-esteem class.

Mrs. Manson has only appeared in "Esteemsters," but since she was in The Daria Diaries, she will likely be back again.